


A DAILY ANTHEM

by BandWurks, orphan_account



Category: Allen Mack Myers Moore (Band), Ingram Hill (Band), Shinedown (Band), Young Petty Thieves (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Anxiety, Depression, Explicit Sex, F/M, Hospitalization, M/M, Multi, Schizophrenia, polyship, queerness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2018-10-14 07:09:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10531452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BandWurks/pseuds/BandWurks, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Justin "J.R." Moore, a young man with schizophrenia, finds a new band that enjoys his company. His girlfriend isn't quite so happy about it. What will he do to survive?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that the phone number given in this chapter was a random one I came up with, please don't call it in case it's real xD

It started with a poster.

“Looking for someone experienced with guitar and singing to make our duo a trio. No professional training needed, just talent and knowledge of what you’re doing and your own guitar. Call Zack at (901) 424-8365 to set up an audition.”

J.R. Moore had seen this poster on an overcast, windy day, taped to a telephone pole. He glanced around sheepishly before pulling out his worn-down iPhone, the model far out of date, having been kept and used a long time. He unlocked the phone before entering the number, placing the call.

“Hello?” Came a voice on the other end and J.R. swallowed, watching an odd figure in his field of vision, hoping it wouldn’t bother him during this call.

“Hi, um, my name is… Um… J.R. and um… I saw your flyer looking for a singer slash guitarist,” he said softly as the figure bounced around. He swallowed softly. “I’d, um, like to set up an audition with you, I think I’m pretty good…” 

“Hi, J.R., my name is Zack. Sure, we can set something up. Actually, my partner Zach and I are available this evening at about 5, I know that’s kind of short notice, but are you available then? We’d love to hear what you have in store for us.” 

J.R. paused a moment. “Sure, ah, 5 PM it is.” He glanced at his beaten down digital watch, seeing it was 3:30 PM at the moment. “Where should I meet you? After I go get my guitar and all.”

“Ah, do you have a piece of paper?” J.R. shook his head a moment, pausing before realizing that Zack couldn’t see him. “Oh, uh, sorry, no, I don’t. I’m calling on a cell phone, though, if you’d like to text me the address.”

“I can do that, my phone saved your number. Excited to meet you, J.R., and you’ll have a text in a moment with the address. See you at 5.”

“Okay, thank you, Zack,” J.R. murmured, hearing the line beep as Zack hung up. He pulled the phone from his ear just as it buzzed with the address, a note saying “This is my house, see you there! –Zack”.

J.R. huffed, heading towards his place. He had to get there, to grab the car and his guitar, and with traffic in Memphis being the way it would be at about that time, he knew he only had about a half hour to get home before he had to leave, so he really had to hurry up.

His slow, leisurely pace from before quickened to a power-walk, before turning to a jog, then to a full-blown run. He had to make it home, this could be exactly what he was hoping for, he needed this, maybe it would finally make Kaitlyn proud of him-

As he thought about Kaitlyn, his muscles froze, causing him to trip and fall, skinning his knees and palms on the pavement. He knew she wouldn't be happy about this at all, would be fighting him every step of the way, because he was going to be late for dinner tonight and be doing band practice if he got this.

He swallowed before pulling out his phone once more to text here. "Hey, babe, I have to go to a job interview type thing tonight. Will miss dinner, don't wait to eat for me. I'll treat you and take you out later." He sent it off and wiped the blood from his palms onto his jeans.

He stood once more, groaning at the ripped knees of his good pair of blue jeans and making a mental note that he needed to buy some new ones. He wasn't poor, or anything, and could still afford his meds and food and psych and doctor's appointments and other little nice things for he and Kaitlyn, had a fairly decent job as a worker at the local music store, making commissions on the instruments he sold, and he was good at selling them. He got to wear casual clothes as long as they looked good, and got to be around music all day. But he had always wanted more, always wanted to be in a band, because music was what had always helped him most with coping with his hallucinations and other problems.

As he looked forward, he jumped and gasped as he saw one of the most common ones appear to him. It was a weird, demon-like figure with a creepy smile that looked too fake to be benevolent and often told him lies. It was easier for him to recognize as fake than his other hallucinations, but harder for him to get rid of. It called itself Jinx, almost seeming to poke fun at the fact that these visions haunted J.R. and hurt him when he couldn't tell if they were real. Jinx was like a psychological taunt, and was his least favorite of his visions.

"Go away, Jinx, at least until I get home," he begged the figure. He had only ever seen one thing that was semi comparable to Jinx; it was from the Pokemon games, the Banette Pokemon, except Jinx was far less proportional and almost a sickly yellow purple mix. When he tried to describe this to anyone, they said he was making it up, but in all honesty, he knew he wasn't. He knew Jinx was real, at least to him, and was an enormous pain in the ass.

He heard it cackle (Jinx had made it very clear to him that it had no gender, was just there to torment and lie to him) loudly. "Oh, J.R., don't you wish? I'm just here to tell you that you just saw that flyer, that it wasn't real."

J.R. groaned as he began to trudge home, no longer running on his sore knees, although he was far closer now and if he kept this pace, he would be home in 5 minutes. "I know you're lying, Jinx, I literally just fucking talked to Zack. What are you gonna tell me next, that Kaitlyn is going to be happy with me bailing on dinner?"

He heard Jinx cackle again. "I guess you'll just have to see. At least none of the strangers around us think you're crazy, I bet they can see me too."

"Yeah fucking right, Jinx," he huffed, continuing home and now very self-conscious and aware of the fact that others could tell he was speaking to thin air. He bit his lip hard, drawing blood there, too, as he made his way the last little leg of his trip to his home. 

As he unlocked the door and stepped in, knowing Kaitlyn didn't get off work till 5, he made his way to his room to grab some black jeans and a clean, blue, long sleeved t-shirt with three buttons at the top, careful not to get blood or dirt on them. He then headed to the bathroom, kicking his shoes off and stripping from the torn jeans and filthy gray tee that he was wearing at the moment, wiping his hands on them before moving to wash off his knees and hands quickly and apply some rubbing alcohol. No bandages would stay, so he made sure that he was no longer bleeding before applying some Neosporin and pulling on the clean clothes. He pulled his shoes back on, then pulled his meds out of the medicine cabinet. Their effectiveness had worn down recently, but if it would keep Jinx and the others at bay for this audition, that was all he needed. He tapped out his three pills, then headed to grab his trusty old acoustic Yamaha and a bottle of water, opening the bottle and taking the pills and downing the bottle completely. 

He sighed softly, giving himself a moment to breathe, then grabbed a second bottle of water and an apple and headed out the door, climbing into his old sky blue pickup truck. He started it up, making sure that he checked around him as he backed out, setting up the slightly inaccurate GPS on his old iPhone to the address Zack had given him before starting to drive. 

As he drove, the apple he had taken with him diminished bite by bite, a golden delicious one, sweet and light on his nauseous stomach. He didn't know if the nausea was because of anxiety over Jinx, or over the audition, or if it was because he had taken his pills on an empty stomach, but he knew he needed something light. And soon, his stomach began to settle a little as he enjoyed each bite of the sweet apple in his hand, crisp and fresh, and he noted not to take his meds on an empty stomach in the future.

Jinx sat front seat, and he tuned it out as best as he could, trying his hardest to focus on the road as he watched the figure fade from his vision and heard its voice go quiet, from a loud cackly thing, to a whisper, to silent. He breathed a breath of relief as he pulled in to a house with a dusty driveway, pretty and rustic. He had taken his meds just in time, and as he checked the clock, it was 4:55 PM, and he had just made it.

He saw a somewhat familiar figure leave the nice, rustic house with a smile and long, curly hair. He had met this man before; even sold him a guitar fairly recently. The man was thin, almost like a beanpole, and he smiled as he parked and turned off the ignition, grabbing his guitar and getting out. 

"Hi, I'm J.R.," he said softly, extending a scuffed up palm."You must be Zack." His words were thick with his Memphis accent, always got a little thicker when his perception of reality wasn't being warped.

"Hi, J.R., I'm Zack! Nice to see you, I didn't realize you were the same guy from the guitar store. Zach should be ready in a few, he just got here a few minutes ago. You might remember him, but just so you know, my name ends with a K, and his ends with an H."

"Good to know," J.R. said with a sheepish smile, listening to the fainter accent of Zack. "I'm excited to try out for you, been looking to join a group forever. It's a bit nicer than playing alone."

"It definitely is," came another voice as a far shorter man, about 5'4", stepped out of the house with a glass of water. "I'm the other Zach, I remember you. You helped us out a few weeks ago. I didn't know you were looking to go into a band."

"I definitely am," J.R. said, smiling. "And I'm ready to try out. You guys wanna go inside, or what? I see you got some kind of a garage you ain't parked in, is that your rehearsal space?"

"Yep," Zack said with a grin. “That’s where we usually rehearse. You want a beer? Then we can get started.”

J.R. debated the merits of a beer vs the effects it would have with him on his meds and swallowed. Sure, it could get him into the "club" of looking cool and fitting in with these dudes, but it would also make his hallucinations that much potentially worse. It would be nice, and could even take some of the nerves off, but then again, mind altering substances weren't always the nicest to him.

"Um, I think I'll pass on the beer, for now," he said softly. "I don't like to drink before huge things, it makes me mess up more than I should," he lied, biting his lip. "Maybe after?" 

J.R. mentally kicked himself for suggesting that he might have one afterwards,but couldn't take it back now. Still, Zack and Zach didn't seem to notice his internal struggle, and Zack's voice and smile were as friendly as ever. "Sure, no problem! Let's head on into the garage."

J.R. nodded and followed Zack, who led the way to the garage. "Don't worry, I don't drink either," Zach said in his ear as he followed. "Did't make me anything but someone I didn't like to be. we don't mind if you don't want to drink."

J.R. swallowed, hoping he had hidden his struggle better than that. "Good to know... Thanks, Zach, I needed that." Which, of course, he had. But he managed to breathe, knowing that they wouldn't judge him for that even if he was still embarrassed.

As they made their way into the practice space, Zack grabbed himself a beer from the fridge and grabbed a cold bottle of water for Zach. "Here you go, shorty." He then turned to J.R. "Hey, Curly, you want one too?" 

"Ah, sure," J.R. said. "And speak for yourself as far as Curly goes,your hair is curlier than mine." J.R. looked at Zack for real for a moment, noting that there was virtually no height difference between the two of them, but that Zach was definitely far smaller than the both of them. Zack moved to grab a bottle for him too, passing it over to him, and J.R. opened it, taking a sip before closing it and setting it down.

"So, Curly, what happened to your hands?" Zach asked. "And don't mind Beanpole over here, he's so skinny that that attribute defines him more than his curliness." 

Already, J.R. was beginning to notice some of the differences between Zack and Zach; Zach seemed to be incredibly outspoken, whereas Zack was a bit quieter and less... Inquisitive. Zack was seeming to be more of minding his own business, but Zach was almost nosey in a way. Zach¬'s accent was the least noticeable of the three of them, but Zack's was still far less pronounced than J.R.'s own. He figured they would be nice company.

"Oh, uh, I was out for a run earlier, when I found your flyer, and tripped on some uneven pavement and fell. Got cut up pretty nicely, but no worries, I can still play. I would love to start my audition for you guys, I think this could be cool."

J.R. paused, waiting for conversation, thinking for a split second about how the nickname Curly felt even better to hear than J.R. He didn't know why, but it did.

"Sure, Curly," Zack said with a grin. "Show us what you've got." He nodded to a stool so that J.R. could sit down, he supposed, and he took the stool, gently tuning up his guitar.

"Um, okay, this is an original song, one of my favorites to play that I've written. It's called Will I Ever Make It Home." He took a deep breath, starting in. "Woke up from my sleep to the sound of that voice..."

He continued on in his song, one that could be taken as just fear of a new place, a new situation, but to him, had a far different meaning. He had written this song after the first time he had been hospitalized. The voices he spoke of were the hallucinations he heard, when they first started appearing, and when he had tried to seek help and instead, been taken from all that felt familiar and safe to him.

It was a song he was very passionate about, and he always had to fight his tears when he played it. As he finished, a single tear escaped his eye and he hoped like hell that Zack and Zach didn't notice it, or if they did, that they wouldn't judge him for it.

The first thing he heard was clapping, from both of them. He watched the two men look at each other, then heard Zack say to him, "Well, J.R., it looks like you're in." He saw the thin man's face turn to a huge grin and he too broke into a smile of joy and relief. Zach smiled too and both men approached him, but instead of what J.R. expected, for them to hold out their hands to shake, he was pulled into a group hug, arms that felt safe and nice, unlike the ones that held him every other night.

"Thanks, guys," he said to them, smiling bigger every moment. "I really appreciate it. You won't be disappointed in me, I promise."

"Better not," Zach said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Otherwise we'll have to beat you." 

Justin froze at that phrasing, knowing full well that Zach didn't mean it any other than a playful way, but somehow, it made him think about his parents, and about Kaitlyn, and how they were never happy when he was.

He swallowed before speaking again. "Well then, I guess I'll just have to make sure I keep my promise."

He smiled softly as Zack and Zach. "I'm guessing you guys want to jam or something, and I would love to, but, um, also, I gotta get home soon enough to make dinner for my girl Kaitlyn. Can we jam tomorrow instead once I have this all together?"

"Sure," he heard Zack say cordially. "How does 5 PM sound?" 

"Works for me," J.R. said softly. "I can tell her this time in advance. I'm glad. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

He watched both men smile before he turned away, gathering his things and putting his guitar away, draining the cold water Zack had given him and tossing the bottle into a bin full of other plastic bottles. And as he headed out to his truck, he heard Zach say behind his back, "Man, he's weird."

"Just new. We'll figure out the mystery behind him," Zack said back.

J.R. didn't reveal he heard this and was privy to the conversation, knowing he shouldn't have been, as he got in and drove off, to deal with Kaitlyn.


	2. Chapter 2

J.R. winced in pain as he made his way out to his truck to go to work. He was far too sore to try to walk today, and so he was going to drive instead. Thoughts of last night after he had gotten home haunted his mind as he looked at his bruised Jaw and the black eye he had been given.

Kaitlyn hadn't been happy with his lateness; instead, she had gone nuts on him, punching him over and over till he bled and begged her to stop, begged for a reprieve. After that, she had gotten in a few more swings, kicked him in the ribs, and left him on the floor, telling him that once he got up, he had to order her a pizza, and pay for it himself. 

And so he had, and he had gotten her favorite, and wanted so badly to make her happy because she was the only one who accepted him. She was okay with him being bisexual, she was okay with him being schizophrenic. The only thing she wasn't okay with was being bailed on, and he supposed that was fair, supposed it was fair for her to be upset and angry enough to hurt him like this.

He had tried to recover in bed that night, but sleeping next to her didn't feel great, not even with her arm draped over him while she slept. He hadn't slept at all and was exhausted, which added to the pain, and to the way his black eye looked. If anything, he would say some dude was hitting on her and he got into it with them; the guys at the guitar store couldn't fault him for that. Not for standing for his girl’s honor. They would definitely harass him if they knew it was her, though.

As he pulled in to work, his hands cradled his ribcage, whimpering in pain as he tried not to look too hurt. His side was burning, and he knew it was going to be hard enough to work, let alone to jam today.

He stepped inside and immediately, his coworker Jack looked at him and sniggered. "Hey, J.R., walk into a doorknob?" Todd was an asshole, always eyeing Kaitlyn, and trying to flirt with her around J.R. He honestly hated Jack, and only tolerated him at work, and so he knew that now, more than ever, he had to lie perfectly.

"Nah, I kicked some douchebag's ass for calling Kaitlyn a slut," he said as confidently as he could, breath hitching with the pain it took to breathe in and project his voice with that confidence. "I decided he needed to meet my fists. I let him get a few good hits in, then took him down."

J.R.'s other coworker this morning, Todd, came up to him. "You look like hell, J.R. And if you got in a fight, why are your hands not fucked up, too?" 

J.R. steeled himself for the pain, glaring at Todd and Jack. "Because he was such a wuss that it only took one hit to knock him down. And if you keep questioning me instead of letting me do my fucking job here and sell to people because you two losers suck at it, you'll find yourself on the other end of my fists, too."

He hated trying to put up this facade, hated having to try and pretend he was a tough guy, a jerk. It went against every fiber of his being. He was a kind, gentle man, and would probably get his own ass kicked if he ever tried to really fight. But he couldn't let them know that Kaitlyn had done this to him, couldn’t let them know that he was that weak, or that bad of a boyfriend. He couldn’t let them see the real him. They didn’t know anything personal about him other than that he was dating Kaitlyn, didn’t know about his head or his sexuality or anything, and he couldn’t dare let them find out.

He swallowed and fought the wince that came as he moved to start getting his areas of the store ready for sales. It was a Tuesday, so it would be slow today, but he still usually had at least a sale or two. At 7 in the morning, he had his shift till 3 today, and then would be free until his jam session with Zack and Zach. 

Speaking of, Zack had texted him last night, just making sure he had contact, and the little smiley face at the end of his message had made J.R. smile. Kaitlyn’s messages never seemed happy enough to have a smile at the end, never seemed happy enough with him. He had seen her text with her friends and she was always sending them smiles, but somehow, they never made it around to him.

He liked thinking about having a jam session, hoped Zack and Zach would take him at his word when he told them the same story tonight, but for now, he just had to hold on to the prospects of that jam session to get through the day. And as a familiar figure that loved to torment him popped up into his view, he groaned, realizing that he hadn’t taken his meds on time. 

“I have to grab something from my truck, Todd, I’ll be back in a second.” He didn't wait for any confirmation as he left the store. It wasn't like there were any customers there anyway, so he wanted to take care of this before any of them got there.

He headed to the truck, reaching into the glove compartment to pull out his prescription bottles; he kept them in his truck as well as the ones at home so that if he was out with his truck and he missed his time, he could take his meds. He tapped out one pill from each bottle, huffing as he noted that there was only one left in each. He had to go get it refilled soon, he supposed, and that was going to be frustrating in itself.

He dry swallowed his pills, knowing his stomach wasn't going to be happy with him but he would have to eat on his lunch break at 11. It was just what he has to do. And he took a deep breath, hoping like hell that Jinx wouldn't bother him any more than appearing to him.

He headed back inside, finishing his setup just as their first customers of the day came in, a young kid and his parents. He approached them happily as he could, forcing himself not to show the pain he was in.

"Hi, I'm J.R., and welcome to the Guitar Center. I'm your sales floor associate and here to help you today with whatever you need. Please let me know if you have any questions while you look around."

He smiled at them, having to force it out of himself, but he would have to deal, had to look happy and good.

Immediately, the mother spoke. She was one of those moms that looked like she would always ask for the manager, the suburban middle class soccer mom type, and J.R. hoped for the kid's sake that she wouldn't be rude or too controlling. "Well, I'm Meredith, and little Timmy here is looking for his first guitar. We have a budget of 500 dollars today, so I want to keep it under that." J.R. looked at the boy, who was smiling almost apologetically.

"Tim works too. And yeah, I want to take up guitar and would love to find a good one for a beginner. Acoustic or electric would be cool, I like the sound of electric but if we can't afford that, I don't want to ask for too much."

J.R. smiled at Tim. "Well, Tim, we do have a special going on where you can get an electric and an amp that you need for it at the low price of 350 dollars. How about we go take a look?" 

A glance at Meredith told J.R. that she wasn't happy that he was paying more attention to Tim than to her, but he didn't care; he wanted to make the kid happy. 

"Sure!" He heard Tim say excitedly, and he saw the kid grin, and J.R. grinned back, for real this time despite how much pain it caused him. He wanted so bad to make this kid happy, knew music was a fantastic way to do that. He could only hope that his mother wouldn’t interfere with his happiness.

“Alright, right this way, I’ll set you up with a great beginner’s amp and a great beginner’s guitar and we’ll go from there.” J.R. nodded in the general direction of where they were going before walking back to the electric section.

“And here we are,” he said softly, wincing as he reached for a great beginner guitar, a Yamaha, and handed it to the kid. “Let me show you how to hook this up to this cool amp here.” He found a smaller beginner’s Orange amp and pulled it over with another wince, fighting it as he showed Tim how to plug it in and start everything up, before grabbing tuner and teaching the kid how to tune the guitar.

Tim plucked out a few notes, and J.R. continued to smile at the kid, paying Meredith no attention. After a little while, he smiled softly. “So, Tim, what do you think?”

“I love it!” Tim cried out, grinning at J.R. before grinning at Meredith. “Oh, please please please, mom?! I want it so bad, and it’s so cool!”

Finally, J.R. turned to Meredith. “I can get you out the door for 350 today plus about thirty dollars tax and a set of 5 free music lessons with one of our teachers that, if Tim wants to continue, can then be continued at a discount price.” He didn’t want her to be 100 percent the deciding factor in this kid’s chance of getting into music.

Meredith huffed and looked at Tim. “I don’t know, you haven’t told me anything else about this guitar.”

“Well, ma’am, it’s a very well built guitar and amp that both are great for beginners, and the lessons are with a certified employee. Tim seems to really like the guitar, and I would love to see another kid leave happy with his ability to get into music.” 

Meredith huffed. “Take off the tax and I’ll buy it.”

J.R. swallowed. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do that. We try to compensate that with lessons that are worth well over the amount of sales tax you’ll be paying. Can I get you a bottle of water or something? On the house, just for clear thinking.” He watched as she started to turn red with anger. 

“No! Let me speak to your manager!” J.R. flinched as she stepped closer to him, wincing at the pain it caused in his ribcage. 

“Actually, ma’am, I’m the supervising employee here this early in the morning, another manager doesn’t come in until about 12 PM, which, I apologize, is another 4 hours or so from now. Are you sure you wouldn’t like a bottle of water? Each and every customer matters to us.”

"I don't want any water and I can wait until you find me a manager!" J.R. heard Meredith's voice get louder and angrier. He hated people like this, people who felt entitled to services for less like the world owed them something.

"Well, ma'am, unless you want to speak to me, you'll have to wait another three and a half hours, and that's a large amount of time. I would really love for Tim to be able to get into music because it's such a wonderful thing, and I feel like he could really flourish with this guitar, so I would love to make a deal with you."

Meredith slapped him across the face, hard, and J.R.'s jaw dropped as he fought to keep his composure, his already black eye starting to hurt almost blindingly. "Come on, Tim, we're leaving. We can get you better elsewhere for less." He watched as the young boy's hand was grabbed and he was dragged from the store, mouthing the words "I'm sorry."

J.R. hissed and he moved to go grab himself a bottle of water, praying that if Meredith called in later, he wouldn't be scolded, and praying even moreso that today would be slow so that he wouldn't have to deal with that. But for that, he still had the whole rest of his shift to go.

As he opened the bottle and chugged the contents, he thought of Zach and Zack and wanted today's shift to go fast, to see them and jam with them, but he was also incredibly wary. What would they think of him showing up all bruised with an even fresher handprint on his face from work now? Would they think h was a wimp? Or worse, that he was trouble and wouldn't be worth it to be in the band? It would kill him to lose this opportunity that he had been wanting for so, so long.

He sighed as he moved to recycle the bottle, settling in for the rest of his shift, praying for far less chaos. This needed to go better if he hoped to survive the rest of the day.


	3. Chapter 3

J.R. swallowed as he pulled up at Zack's place for their time to jam and see how they fit together as a band. He was incredibly wary, needed this to go well, needed them not to be upset with him. He was about twenty minutes late because the manager had, in fact, been upset with him and forced him to clean the sales floor a bit before leaving, without any overtime. It was frustrating to J.R., but he knew that, as a disabled man, he would have to put up with it because it was far easier for him to lose his decent paying job.

He winced as he grabbed his guitar and forced himself out of the truck, Zack and Zach calling out that they were already in the garage. "Hey, why are you so la-" he heard Zach ask, hearing the sentence stop as Zach looked at him. "You look like shit Curly. What happened?"

J.R. swallowed. "I got into a fight with a dude who was giving my girl Kaitlyn some shit last night. Fight for her honor and all. Just a little banged up. And then a rude customer slapped me today. I'm all good, it happens." he grit his teeth, hated lying so blatantly about everything but the customer, but he had to, had to make sure he wasn't caught. 

"Shit, dude, that's insane." J.R. bit his lip at the use of the word, Zach unaware of how harsh a term like that could be to someone like J.R.

"Yeah, it is, Shorty, isn't it." J.R.'s words were flat, no question within them, and thankfully, Zack stepped in and offered him some water. 

"Well, let's get you settled, and then we can jam on something. You know how to play Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen?"

J.R. took the bottle Zack held out to him with a grateful, tired smile. "Of course I do. I don't live under a rock." All three men laughed a bit at that, and J.R. let himself smile a bit more. 

"Okay, well, Zach and I have needed a third voice to try to get that harmony just right, and we wanted to try it out with you. Sound like a good idea, J.R.?"

J.R. nodded. "Works for me, Beanpole." He still didn't know why he didn't like the name J.R. when it came out of Zack's mouth, but he knew that he could live with it.

Suddenly, he heard a whisper, a sinister one that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, telling him that he was a fake. He jumped, wincing, and Zack and Zach looked at him in concern.

"I... Did you hear that?" J.R. swallowed, his eyes almost fearful.

"Hear what? J.R., are you okay?" Zach asked, as Zack watched more observantly. 

"I... Nothing, it must have been the wind. I can see the leaves in the trees a little, I must have just heard it." J.R. swallowed. Was he crazy? "I, um, I guess I'm just oversensitive to the wind." Was this real? Or was it about to get bad again?

“Okay, J.R.,” Zach said, with Zack still watching him intently. “You’re probably right.” 

“Let’s, uh, let’s try to work on Fat Bottomed Girls, so we can take a break once we get it.” J.R. tried to distract from himself. “I’m a little sore from kicking that guy’s ass, so, um, you’ll have to forgive me if I’m not on top of my game tonight.”

"All good, J.R." Zack's words were gentle and J.R. breathed a sigh of relief at how kind he was being and not questioning him. He swallowed once more before getting ready to do the song.

For two hours or so, they worked on the song, working especially hard to get their harmonies right. It was a bit of a struggle to harmonize with two voices he had never heard sing before, especially when he was hearing other whispers in the background (which he didn't really know how Zach and Zack hadn't heard them), but finally, they managed to make some progress and soon, it was time to take a bit of a break.

J.R. moved to his truck to take one of his pills, because if this went on any longer, he would be missing his dosage time, which would mean Jinx would come back, and the last thing he needed right now was to be dealing with it on top of everything else. He returned to the garage for another bottle of water, resolving to start bringing a refillable one with him to these things.

As he came back, Zach side-checked him and J.R. cried out in pain. "Ouch!" 

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry, J.R., I was just playing around, are you okay?" Zach's words were genuine and quick as Zack made his way over to check on the two of them.

"I'm... Fine... But I did... You know... Get in a fight last night? And I'm kinda bruised up..." J.R. couldn't help the tears that fell with his explanation and he swallowed as he lifted the shirt he was wearing to show the bruise from the fight just to prove he wasn't a wimp.

"Shit, I'm sorry, J.R. Can I get you something? I'm really sorry." Zach stared at the ground as he spoke, and Zack came over to check. 

"Why are there scratches from nails or something, J.R.? Guys don't usually scratch." Zack's own words were inquisitive, but J.R. swallowed, knowing he had to blow it off.

"This guy really wanted to hurt me any way he could. So I had to deal with scratches. I gotta defend Kaitlyn's honor, after all. She's my girl and I love her." He bit his lip, tasting a little copper as it bled. "And... Um... An ice pack would be really nice, Zach, would help a lot."

"On it!" Zach exclaimed, moving to the freezer to go grab an ice pack. It was typical to keep one in the garage because sometimes Zach or Zack got a little zealous when they were playing, Zach explained to J.R., and they hurt themselves. 

"Thanks," J.R. said as the ice pack was handed to him and he held it against his side, wincing in the pain that he was feeling. "I'll be okay, just... Gonna take a few days to get over it."

One look at Zack's face said that the youngest man didn't buy it, but J.R. could only keep up with his lies.

"So... Um... We wanna get back to this in a few? I got-“ he looked at the time on his phone, “-another hour or so till I have to get home and I would love to try to get this down." He hoped deflection would work.

"No, we can't, J.R., you're hurt and we need to talk about this!" Zack's words showed he wasn't having it at all.

 

“I’ve known you for two days, we aren’t going to talk about this. I told you, a dude and I got in a fight over my girlfriend. Nothing more to it.” J.R.’s words were gruff, cold, and Zack fell silent. J.R. could see the anger growing in his face until Zach interrupted them.

“Guys, let’s not fight… Zack, you’re getting scary… I- I don’t want to lose the guy we’ve picked for our band two days in, and I don’t want you upset all night, you don’t cuddle with me when you’re angry-“

J.R. blinked as he watched Zach move to wrap his arms around Zack. “You two are-?”

Zack’s own face fell from anger to sadness as he nodded. “Yeah, we’re a couple. We both go both ways. And… Uh… Sorry, Zach is right. But… I hope that you’ll open up to us, at some point, mystery man J.R. We’re… I’m… Worried about you.”

J.R. nodded. “Maybe someday… But it’s gonna take some time… And you guys make a cute couple.” He looked at his phone once more, sighing. “Well… We’re down to about a half hour I got left. Do we wanna play, or should I just leave?”

“Let’s play!” Zach cried out, looking small and mousy beside Zack’s own stick-like figure, before unpeeling his arms from around Zack to dart over to his guitar almost anxiously. Both Zach and J.R. looked at Zack, who sighed and ran his hand through his hair before nodding with a smile. It was the first time that J.R. noticed how tired his new, skinny friend’s eyes looked, a sadness to them even when he smiled. He supposed he wasn’t the only one keeping secrets.

Another more sinister voice whispered into J.R.’s ear as both he and Zack moved back to their guitars and he shuddered, wincing quietly before trying to focus on not letting anyone know, the first reminder of several that things were going to get bad again. It only said three words, but they were enough to throw J.R. off: “You... Are… Worthless…”

He shook his head softly and nodded to Zack and Zach, and they all began playing again, working to get their vocal harmonies just right, and time was swept away until J.R. was two hours over his time without realizing it. He only noticed when his phone buzzed, showing him twelve missed calls from Kaitlyn and the time.

“Shit! Shit! I- I gotta go, guys, I- I’m sorry, Kaitlyn’s gonna kill me, I gotta go-“ J.R. panicked loudly, gathering up his guitar and keys and quickly heading towards his truck, unable to hear Zach and Zack’s questions through his fear and anxiety and panic and the other voices that were now more viciously filling in the spaces between, telling him he was worthless and undeserving of love and life among other things. Within a minute, he was speeding home, voices surrounding him.

As he made his way to the door of the home he and Kaitlyn shared, what was waiting for him was a fist to the face. Tears stung at J.R.’s eyes as he glanced around, seeing Jinx’s demonic figure with other, far more sinister figures becoming clearer, and he lost track of everything until he heard the sound of sirens, and soon police were at the door.

As he was handcuffed and taken to the police cruiser, he heard Kaitlyn’s voice, the one she used when she was faking to get her way. “He’s schizophrenic, and I’ve tried to be here for him, but he got violent and swung at me and I had to defend myself and get him to stop before I called you. Get him help and I won’t press charges.”

The rest of it was a blur, as J.R. followed a procedure he’d gone through before, unable to lie when he was asked if he was hearing voices (yes), and if he wanted to hurt himself (if it would make them stop). And soon, he found himself in the hospital without ever having wanted to end up there again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was pretty hard to write and is kind of short, but I wanted to explain that the reason why the ending is kind of fuzzy and rushed is because that's the way J.R. is experiencing it.


	4. Chapter 4

J.R. cringed as he looked at the clock in his truck, pulling in to Zach and Zack’s place three days later. It was three in the morning, and J.R. hated that he had to resort to this, showing up unannounced at this time of morning after 3 days of missing practices (he was pretty sure it was 3, that’s what they had told him this time), but he was desperate. He had to get away from Kaitlyn, couldn't trust her anymore.

He turned off the ignition in his truck, swallowing as he grabbed his new slew of meds (his prescription had been updated to something that would hopefully work better, about the only good thing to come out of this hospitalization) and locked the truck, which had a few changes of clothes, his guitar, his old vinyls and record player, and his CD collection inside before heading to the door.

Before he could even knock, Zack was opening the door, thin figure rigid and brows furrowed. “J.R., what the hell? Where have you been?”

J.R. swallowed, tears in his eyes. “Th-the hospital… I had to get away, I’ve been out for about 12 hours, Kaitlyn-“ he choked on his words and stumbled towards Zack, feeling the thin man’s arms wrap around him gently as he began to cry.

“Shh… It’s okay, J.R., come in…” Zack gently pulled him into the house and J.R. let out a whimper.

“D-don’t call me that anymore… Sh-she would when she was hurting me… J-Justin or Curly works, just n-not J.R., please…”

“Justin? Okay, okay, Justin, it’s okay… Come on, let’s sit down and talk.” Justin let Zack pull him to the couch, the first time Justin had been inside the house and not the garage.

It was a nice home, warm, fairly spacious, with a pretty fireplace and a small, cabin-like country feel. It was almost the opposite of the shitty little place he and Kaitlyn had shared, which was cold and stagnant and suited far more to Kaitlyn’s more modern tastes. Justin had only stayed because of his love for her, but it never felt like he was safe. Here, however, Justin felt safer than he ever had in his life.

As he was pulled to sit down, Justin couldn’t help but to weakly curl up in Zack’s arms. He felt Zack gently pet his hair, hugging him close.

“Okay, Justin, talk to me… What happened, Curly?” Zack’s words were gentle, full of concern.

Justin swallowed, knowing he had a question to ask first. “D-did I wake you?”

He heard Zack sigh softly and looked up at the tired face of the man who was holding him. “No, I have insomnia… I couldn't sleep. I finally got Zach to sleep. His insomnia is almost as bad as mine. But let’s talk about you, and why you showed up at 3 AM with pills in your hands after missing three days of practice.”

Justin whimpered and cuddled closer to Zack. “Okay… Y-you were right. I wasn't fighting for Kaitlyn’s honor… She beat me. And… When practice ran late… I got h-home and she… She punched me and then c-called the c-cops on me…”

Justin felt Zack nodding, then felt his hair getting pet again. “Okay… Why were you in the hospital 3 days for getting punched?”

Justin swallowed. “It wasn’t for the punch… These pills… They’re… Antipsychotics… I… I’m schizophrenic. I- I was hearing things, that day… More than I usually do, my meds stopped working. She… Got angry and played it against me, called the cops and said I was violent… After a few days, they realized I wasn’t, violent, that is… And they let me go. I went back, she tried to be sweet but… I can’t trust her anymore… T-took my music stuff, my money, a couple changes of clothes, my phone and meds, and ran after leaving a note that the place was all hers… Told her I would pay my share of rent this month and that she was on her own for the rest…” 

Tears fell as Justin admitted this and he felt Zack pull him closer, snuggle him a bit tighter so as not to hurt him. “I see… Well, I know Zach won’t mind if you take the guest room and stay here… After all, it’s safer for you here… And… You were brave to tell me the truth, Justin… I’m sorry you had to go through the hospital, I know firsthand that psychiatric holds suck. Thank you for sharing with me.”

Justin froze at Zack’s words. “Y-you do?” He looked up at Zack once more. 

“I do.” Zack nodded, Justin seeing the sadness in his eyes that he had noticed before. “You see… Zach and I both struggle with depression and anxiety… He gets hit worse with the anxiety, though, and I get hit worse with the depression. He’s never been, but, when I was nineteen, I ended up in the hospital once for attempting suicide. Pills. That’s why I was wary about you showing up with them. But I’m sorry, truly sorry that you were stuck there for three days. It’s hell, and for you to have been forced on a lie… It must have been even worse.”

Justin swallowed before nodding. “I- I’ve tried that, too. A few times. I have some… Not so nice hallucinations that like to show up and tell me to, and it happened the other day and I wasn’t thinking clear so when they took me in, it was another reason to keep me. I see Jinx the most, it’s this weird demon thing, but it lies so I know it isn’t real, but I guess… You know, while I’m here, till I can get back on my feet, you should know, just in case. They did give me new meds because the old ones stopped working this time, but it could happen again in the future.”

Justin watched as a sad smile fell upon Zack’s face. “Duly noted. Now… We should try to get you some sleep. Come on, I’ll show you to your room.”

Justin nodded softly and stood, legs shaking as he now noticed how exhausted he truly was. Zack, too, stood, a thin arm wrapping around Justin to support him, leading him towards the stairs, before helping him climb them and leading him to the guest bedroom. 

When they reached the guest room, Justin turned to look at Zack. “Are… Are you going to tell him what I told you?”

There was a momentary silence before Zack answered. “Do you want me to?”

Justin paused and swallowed, debating. “Can you?”

“If you want me to.”

Justin nodded softly before he moved to hug Zack again, sore but in desperate need of some benevolent human contact still. “Please.”

“Okay.” Zack’s agreement was as gentle as his hug, and Justin was incredibly grateful that the man was there for him, was willing to take him in and listen to him and help him explain. Justin felt Zack’s hand gently rub up and down his back a bit before Zack moved slowly, gently toward the bed, helping Justin to sit, pulling away once he was seated.

“Do you want a glass of water or anything? I know you definitely need to sleep. Bathroom is down the hall and to the left if you need to use it, and me and Zach’s room is directly across from that if you need us.”

“No, I’m okay… Thank you, Zack…” Justin’s own words were quiet. “I just… Wish you didn’t have to leave… It’s been nice to be hugged.”

He watched Zack smile hesitantly. “Well, there’s always tomorrow… I’m sure that Zach will want to hug you and will be clingy tomorrow once you wake up… He cares, too, I promise.”

Justin nodded softly. “Okay… I believe you. Thanks, Zack… And… I hope you get some sleep.”

He felt Zack hug him gently once more. “I’ll try. Sleep well, Curly.”

Justin smiled softly, fighting his tears. “You too, Beanpole. And… Make sure you give Shorty a hug from me when you tell him, too.”

“I will.” And with that, Zack pulled away and stood, flicking off the light gently after watching Justin pull his jeans off. He gently moved to tuck Justin in in the dark, making sure he moved to the window to close the shade so that, when dawn came in an hour or so, Justin would still be able to rest, making sure to tell Justin this before offering a night light.

“I’m good… Thanks. Night, Zack.”

“Night, Justin.” 

With that, Zack left the room, and Justin was left alone, curling up on his side before he was drifting off peacefully in his exhaustion from the days preceding and the emotional labor of the last two hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, I know, but the emotions were intense with this and the next chapter should be longer.


	5. Chapter 5

Justin awoke to the smell of food and the sound of music. It took a moment for him to recognize the album playing, as it was quiet, but it soon became apparent that the album was U2’s The Joshua Tree. He smiled tiredly as he uncurled, stretching in the bed before sitting up. His exhaustion had been so much that he hadn’t shifted positions while sleeping, but rather, had slept in the same position in the same spot in bed. He pulled on the shirt from earlier, having left his other clothes in his truck, but left his shoes of, padding down the stairs to see Zack standing with a cup of coffee, making bacon, and Zach sitting at the table, scrolling on his phone.

“What time is it?” he murmured, rubbing his eyes to clear them of the fuzziness of just waking up. This caused Zach to look up from his phone and instantly, the short man was standing, running over to Justin with phone in hand and pulling him into a hug, albeit gently. Justin figured that Zach remembered side checking him and thought before acting this time, for which he was grateful.

“Curly! You’re here, you’re okay!” Zach’s words were excited, and Justin smiled weakly at the short man’s enthusiasm.

“I am… Good to see you, too, Shorty… You got the time?” Justin hugged him back gently, weakly, as he was still sore as all hell. “I have to take my meds more consistently, on a schedule, so I’d appreciate it.”

“Oh! Yeah! It’s uh,” Zach moved a single arm to look at his phone, “11:24 AM. Did you sleep well? Come on, let’s sit down, I’ll turn the music down-“

“Okay, Zach, come on.” Justin looked at Zack, who smiled and nodded gently, raising the coffee mug, before nodding to Justin and the coffee pot. “I would love a cup, I can grab it-“

“No, you go sit down, I’ll bring one over to you. How do you take your coffee?” Zack smiled gently as Zach began to tug at Justin, pulling towards the couch, and both Zack and Justin couldn’t help their chuckles.

“Just slightly sweet, a little milk,” Justin said softly, allowing himself to be pulled over to the couch as Zach began to really whine. And soon, the two of them were sitting, and within a moment, Zach was cuddling up to Justin and Justin couldn’t help but to smile, wrapping his arms around the short man, who began to speak rapid fire.

“Zack told me pretty much everything. I’m sorry that she hurt you but you can stay here as long as you need, Zack and I actually own the place, our parents were really nice and bought it for us so there’ no need to worry about rent, just utilities. But you can help with that, and like you can have your own drawer in the bathroom and we can watch scary movies together every night, and we can jam every night without you having to worry about getting back to her and you can still get to work and everything-“

With that, Justin sucked in a breath. “Work. Right.” 

At that moment, Zack walked over with a mug of coffee and a curious look. “What’s with work?”

Justin swallowed as he took the mug from Zack, with one arm still wrapped around Zach, nodding his thanks before taking a sip. “I, um, may have been on my last strike, and, um, just had three days of no call, no show. And even with a doctor’s note, I should have called, so, um, I’m guessing if I walk in tomorrow, I’m fired.” He took another sip, looking at Zack with a shallow smile. “Also, perfect sweetness level, thanks.”

He watched Zack frown and felt Zach’s arms wrap a little tighter around him and he grunted. He heard a murmured apology from the shorter man as the grip let up. “Well, let me get everyone their plates, eggs and bacon, and then we can talk,” Zack said. “And you’re welcome, Justin.”

Justin nodded and set the mug down. His arms wrapped gently around Zach. “Zack told me you would get clingy.” It was an observation, truly, no malice to his words, and he prayed that it would get through to Zach that it was just that.

“I guess… I don’t know, I’ve liked having you around since you auditioned for us, and after what Zack told me, I feel like you have to be protected. Plus, you’re actually insanely cuddly.”

Justin winced softly. “I… Can you not use the word insane around me? I’m not asking you to change it immediately, I know it’ll be hard, but it’s been used against me before and it’s likely going to be used when I walk in to work tomorrow morning, and it’s really painful to hear.” 

It was silent for a moment before Zach nodded. “I’ll work on it. Sorry, Curly.” 

“Thanks, Shorty,” Justin murmured, hugging Zach softly before pulling away. “I need to go take my meds and use the bathroom, I’ll be right back, I promise.”

He stood, and made his way up the stairs to the guest room, looking at the three bottles of pills before him with a sigh. He hated taking pills on an empty stomach, but he knew he had to do it now, or the schedule would be thrown off even worse than it already was. He put one of each into his hand before making his way toward the bathroom, where he closed the door and stood in front of the mirror, gulping before popping them into his mouth and dry swallowing. He couldn’t help but shudder, fighting through it before doing what he had to and heading back downstairs, where three plates were on the table. 

He smiled softly, moving to grab his coffee from the coffee table to sit at the larger table in a chair, where Zach and Zack were already sitting beside each other. Zach was laughing, giggling, even, as Zack kissed his nose.

“Thanks, Zack,” Justin murmured softly. “You two really do make the cutest couple… I hope someday I find a relationship like that.”

“Oh, you will!” piped in Zach with a grin as Zack just nodded curtly with a smile on his face. “You deserve it, Curly, and someone is right for you!”

Justin couldn’t help but chuckle at the man’s enthusiasm. “Thanks, Shorty. You’re very kind. But… It’ll be a while, if ever. People like me don’t tend to fare well in healthy relationships.”

He watched Zack set a gentle hand on Zach’s shoulder, watching the two interact as Zach’s level of energy seemed to lower a little. “It’s hard, but you’ll get there,” Zack murmured softly. “Right now, though, I think we should focus on your recovery from Kaitlyn and the hospital.”

Justin nodded softly. “Yeah, you’re probably right. It’s going to take a while, anyway.” He frowned a bit, staring at his plate so that he didn’t have to look at Zach, didn’t have to feel like he was letting the shorter man down by his lack of optimism.

"It's okay, Justin," Zack said softly. "Let's just eat, I hope you like it. I'm not too bad of a cook, I don't think."

"Thank's Zack," Justin said softly, looking at the plate before digging in. Within moments, he was shoveling it into his mouth, not having realized just how hungry he really was. He was halfway done with his plate by the time Zach and Zack had taken three bites, and so he forced himself to pause and sip at his now cool coffee.

"This is really good, Zack, thank you.” Justin's words were genuine, and he smiled at Zack to prove it.

The thin man just chuckled. "I can always make more where that came from. Finish your plate and if you want more, I'll make more." 

"Thanks, Beanpole," Justin said softly, digging back into the plate of eggs and bacon. He ate quite ravenously, hadn't eaten for about a day, he realized. It was always harder to eat and motivate himself to eat when getting out of the hospital and starting new meds, even if he hated taking them on an empty stomach.

He finished quickly, both the plate of food and his coffee, before sitting back and watching Zack and Zach eat and interact with each other, feeling a deep longing somewhere inside himself. He wasn't sure whether it was just for what a relationship would bring, or if it was specifically who he was watching, but he supposed that he could figure that out later.

Once the other two finished eating, Justin smiled shyly at Zack. "You really can make more? I don't want to give you trouble or put you out, I just haven't eaten for a while."

"Of course I can, if you can keep Zach busy," Zack teased. "Seriously, get him talking about something and he'll yap your ear off without ever filtering himself, it's pretty great."

Justin couldn't help the hearty laugh that escaped him. "So I've noticed. But of course I can keep him busy. He wanted to talk to me anyway, food just came first. Thanks, Beanpole."

"Of course, Curly. Have fun with Shorty. Speaking of, Shorty, you want some more?" As Zach nodded to his boyfriend's request, Justin grinned at the fact that these nicknames were becoming universal, used by everyone for everyone. 

As Zack moved to grab plates and return to the kitchen, Justin looked at Zach with a smile. “So, Shorty… Wanna tell me some more about you?” 

Immediately, Zach launched into a full breakdown of himself. “Well, I’m thirty-three, I swing both ways, I hate cats, U2 is my favorite band, I’m actually a damn good guitarist and guitar tech, I’m a die-hard Grizzlies fan, I have anxiety, especially when I have to deal with a bunch of people, I’m definitely a dog person, I talk a lot, I love Zack, and I mean, I think you’re hot, too, so I hope you find someone soon-“

Justin had just taken a sip of his coffee and as Zach nonchalantly called him hot, he couldn’t help but to spit it out in surprise, startling Zach into silence. “I- You- What- I- Did- You-“ Justin sputtered, unable to get the words out.

“Call you hot? Yeah? Zack thinks you’re hot too.”

“Zach!” Came a sharp cry from the kitchen. “He literally just got out of a relationship with a girl, you don’t even know if he likes dudes! Can you keep it in your pants for now?! And not drag me into this?!” 

“What?! You do think he’s hot! You told me that first night! And it’s not like you and I haven’t been open to the idea of trying to go poly!”

Justin turned a bright red as he heard the two of them start to argue. “I’m, uh, going to use the bathroom,” he murmured softly, fighting the anxious feelings that were starting to grow inside him thanks to this.

“No- No, Curly, no, please, I didn’t mean to upset you don’t leave no no no no noooooo!” Zach’s words were rapid fire, anxious, as he begged Justin to stay. “Please please please don’t leave, I didn’t mean to scare you or hurt you, don’t hate me, please-“

“I don’t hate you! Can you let me use the bathroom in peace? I need a minute.” Justin stood, moving to make his way up the stairs to the bathroom, where he closed the door and found himself staring into the mirror once more. He was redder than a fire truck, embarrassed beyond belief. Did Zack and Zach really think that about him? And if they did, was it worth it for him to try to move on so fast? He knew that, yeah, he liked dudes, too, but he wasn't sure, especially after Kaitlyn had done what she had done to him. He didn't know if he was ready for anything beyond having a couple of friends right now, no matter how nice they were to snuggle with.

He sighed, turning on the faucet and splashing his face, hoping he would cool down, calm himself from his embarrassment. Downstairs, he heard Zach and Zack arguing quietly, then heard Zack trying to comfort Zach, telling him to breathe. Justin bit his lip and swallowed, flushing the toilet to make it seem like he had done something other than stand there before he headed back downstairs.

"I'm sorry, guys, this is new to me, and I just, I can't think of anyone that way yet, and I'm not really okay yet-" He cut himself off awkwardly, tears filling his eyes. "I would hate to hurt either of you guys by not being exactly what you would want around you, and I wouldn't want to fuck everything up-"

"It's okay, Justin, Zach just got a little ahead of himself. And we know you need to recover, it's not going to take overnight, and from there on, we can figure out where we stand." Zack's words were gentle. "Now... I have more food ready."

Justin bit his lip. "I... I think I've lost my appetite, I'm sorry..." He felt absolutely horrible that he was letting Zack down like this. "I... You could save them for me for later maybe? I wouldn't want to waste food, I know that money can be hard to come by and that I'm not contributing much-"

It's okay, Justin, don't worry. I'm not mad at you, or upset, I get it. No one is mad at anyone here, things just got a little heated, that's all."

Justin looked at Zach, whose eyes were red. He saw the short man sniffle, rubbing his nose on his sleeve, and Justin's heart broke a bit, feeling like he had let Zach down.

"I... How about we go watch that horror movie, Zach? I may not be ready for any kind of relationship, but I'm always down to share a couch and watch a movie..." Justin tried to make up for his mistakes, tried to console Zach. "Any movie you want... And... You're not wrong about me liking dudes, I go both ways too."

He watched Zach nod almost dejectedly and he moved over towards the shorter man, moving to hold his hand out to help him up. Zach avoided his hand and stood. "Let's just go watch Halloween," he grumbled softly, making his way toward the couch and grabbing the remote. Apparently, the disc was already in the DVD player.

"It's his favorite movie,” Zack said softly, nodding towards the couch. “He’ll be okay. Come on.” Zack set a gentle hand on Justin's shoulder, leading him over to the couch, where Zach was curled up in one corner already, messing with the remote to get the TV and DVD player to start. Justin sighed softly, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, letting Zack sit between them because he didn't want to make Zach more uncomfortable.

Soon enough, the movie was starting, and Justin was watching it without really watching, his head spinning as it ran through the events of the day so far, considering he'd only been awake for about two hours now. A loud sigh escaped him this time, and Zack looked at him curiously, Zach intent on watching the movie. Soon, Justin felt a pair of thin arms wrapping around him, holding him gently, keeping him close, as a gentle hand ran through his hair.

His head continued to spin, albeit a bit less. Even still, Justin hated the sensation, hated the fact that it happened, because his head was usually already messed up and foggy enough, and being even less able to focus and clarify things was upsetting, frustrating to him.

He couldn't help but curl closer to Zack as the movie went on, still tired, even from how little sleep he had gotten recently. He yawned, and saw Zack's gentle eyes look at him, saw a gentle nod telling him that it was okay for him to try to sleep. He nodded softly, stretching out a little so that his head was in Zack's lap, eyes closing softly.

Soon enough, he supposed, he was awoken by some shuffling movement, Zack moving out from under him, murmuring that he was going to go to the bathroom. Justin blinked and nodded before turning his attention to Zach. He noted that Zach was closer to him now, curled closer and far less upset, and Justin looked at him gently, reaching out to softly pet the shorter, younger man’s hair. “I’m sorry I upset you, Zach…”

“Sokay…” Zach murmured, himself looking tired. “Wanna go nap…”

Justin nodded at him. “You probably should… We all probably should…” His words were gentle, tired, understanding. “You guys should head up to bed…” he murmured as Zack returned downstairs.

The thin man nodded. “A nap sounds good… Do you… Want to join us, Justin? No funny business, just cuddling and napping. I know you like to cuddle.”

Justin hesitated, unsure of whether that would work. He looked at Zach. “Would you be okay with that, Zach?”

He saw the anxious hesitation written on Zach’s face before Zach finally nodded. “If you want to…”

Justin looked back at Zack. “Okay… I think I’d like that.” He moved to sit up with a groan before standing, staggering a little from the soreness of his muscles and the bit of sleepiness left over from that nap. Immediately, Zack was there to steady him and Zach, making sure both men were okay before the three of them climbed the stairs.

As Zack and Zach climbed into bed, Justin looked at the bed hesitantly. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Justin,” Zack murmured softly, but Justin shook his head.

“I do want to… I just feel like I’m… Intruding on you, when I just showed up, and I’m not ready for any kind of non-friendly relationship, and-“

“Shh… It’s okay…” Zack nodded to between him and Zach. “Come on, you can hold him and I’ll hold you. Is that okay, Zach?” 

The shorter man nodded tiredly. “Yeah… Sure… M tired… C’mon…”

Justin nodded and moved to climb in between them, pulling Zach close, softly, nuzzling against Zach’s neck protectively. He felt Zach’s own arm drape over him, and as he felt Zach’s breathing even out as he fell into sleep, he too was lulled to sleep, feeling Zack nuzzle his own neck softly before drifting off, all three of them finally finding a peaceful sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Justin awoke before Zack and Zach did, and he silently shifted, still sore, careful not to wake either of them. He forced himself to stay as silent as he sighed, his head spinning again. He let his gaze wander to the two men that were still asleep, back and forth on the sides of him with a sigh.

Did he like them? Of course he did. But he couldn’t help but worry that he would fuck up another relationship by just being who he was if he was ever even going to be in another relationship in the first place. He didn't want to fuck it up at all, didn't want to hurt Zach or Zack. Was he starting to develop feelings for them? The easiest answer was yes, but he couldn't tell if it was a rebound, or just something from being treated nicely, or genuine attraction. His head was a mess and he wanted so badly to figure it out.

Tears began to slip down Justin's face, silent at first but soon, he was sobbing audibly. Zack stirred a bit, but Zach was immediately awake, an anxious look on his face as he reached to flick on the lights before he was moving closer to Justin. 

"Curly? What's wrong? I'm worried. What's wrong?" Zach's words held just as much anxiety as his face did, though they were genuinely filled with concern. 

"I... I just... I was thinking... And I..." Justin hiccupped, still sobbing, and Zack began to wake up, too. And soon, Justin and Zach were sitting up and Zach was wrapping his arms around Justin, a buzzing energy filling the hug. The energy, however, didn't feel good, and only served to make Zach start to panic a little as Justin continued to cry.

Eventually, Zack sat up too, thin arms wrapping around Justin from the other side and keeping Zach close, too. "Shh... It's okay, you two... Calm down... Justin, what's wrong?"

Justin continued to sob. "I was thinking about h-how much I like the two of you, and how good it feels t-to be around you, and cuddle with y-you, but... I don't w-want my fucked up, schizoid s-self for h-hurt you or r-ruin another relationship... I d-don't want to ever hurt you, you've b-both been s-so amazing to me..."

"Oh, Justin..." Zack's words were gentle as he pulled both Zach and Justin close, letting Justin curl up into his arms, with Zach curling up on top of Justin almost protectively even though he was shaking with his own anxiety.

"I'm s-s-sorry that I'm not good enough, th-that I can't have an answer, that I'm n-not going to have a job or be able to c-contribute when I came into y-your lives so fast... I d-don't want to make things bad for you, and everywhere I go, th-things go bad... It's why my parents stopped l-loving me, it's why I d-deserved it every time Kaitlyn would beat me... I hurt her, I disappointed her..."

"Stop it right there, Justin." Zack's voice was stern, solid. "Her beating you was in no way your fault... She abused you, Justin, you didn't deserve that. And as far as you making things bad, you haven't made a single thing bad for us... We're just glad that you're safe and alive. Your illness is not your fault and neither is the abuse you've faced."

Zack's arms wrapped tighter around Justin as he spoke, and Justin just continued to sob, breaking down in his arms. Zach curled closer on top of him, and Justin let himself bury his face in the shorter man's thin, blond hair. No words were spoken for a while, as Justin cried and Zach continued to shake anxiously.

Finally, Justin ran out of tears, exhausted and drained once more even though emotionally, he felt like absolute shit, was scared to fuck this up. He swallowed and collapsed weakly against Zack, who lowered him and Zach back to lying down before lying down with them. “Shh… Let’s get some rest, even if we don’t sleep… Lay here and cuddle a bit, yeah?” 

Justin hiccupped again and nodded, turning over onto his stomach as though to hide his vulnerability from the whole world, to keep himself safe. He felt Zach cuddle up to his side, felt an thin arm reach over them both.

For a while, there was silence other than the beating of three hearts and the out of sync breaths of three men. Eventually, their breathing synced up, as Justin stopped hiccupping and Zach began to calm down and relax a bit. They laid like that a while longer before Zack spoke up.

“Curly… What do you think about going to therapy?” His words were tentative, cautious. “I feel like it could really help you, help you get out some of what you’re feeling ad work some of these things out, on top of your meds.”

“I hate therapists… And they’re expensive and I’m not making money anymore,” Justin grumbled. “They’re almost as bad as psychiatrists… So patronizing, acting like just because they have a degree, they know what goes on inside my head better than I do… They act like my descriptions are stupid, especially when it comes to Jinx. And now they’re going to write off everything else as a result of the schizophrenia, too. They always do.”

“Well… Zach and I see this therapist once a week, she’s at a clinic downtown and they run on a sliding scale. Sometimes there’s a full coverage if you’re unemployed… I was thinking maybe, just maybe, we could get you in to see her, about things other than just your schizophrenia… I think it would really help you to talk about Kaitlyn, in a safer space than Zach and I can provide for you, and I think that you should be able to talk about some of the things you’re feeling, so that you can work them out before you jump into anything too fast or, on the flip side, rule something out too fast.”

Justin huffed at Zack’s words. “I really don’t want to… How do you know she won’t just do the same thing? I get that you’ve ended up in a hospital before, too, Zack, but… It’s different when you deal with visions and voices. They treat you a lot different, more like you’re an animal, like you’re more dangerous. When you’re in there for a suicide attempt they just have to watch you until your time is up or they deem you safe. When you hear things, see things, they’re beyond patronizing, and they’re always treating you like something that needs to be locked in a padded room in a straitjacket until you’re whacked out of your mind on a ton of drugs so that they don’t have to deal with you other than occasionally cleaning up your drool. Especially public places, the ones who take in those without any insurance or money. I bet you, there was someone like me in there when you were however many years ago it was when you were 19 and you thought they were crazy and that you didn’t belong with some lunatic like that who kept talking to thin air.”

Justin’s words were bitter, angry. It wasn’t so much at Zack as it was the situation that he had dealt with his entire life, but he couldn’t help but to let it out when he was hurting like this. 

“You know something Curly? You’re absolutely right. There was someone there that I felt like that about. Her name was Sierra, and she was almost gorgeous, except that her hair was filthy and matted and she hadn’t showered in days and you could see the exhaustion of dealing with it written on her face even though she didn’t sleep at all for the 21 hours that I was in there. But you know what? After seeing that, I wanted to learn. It’s been 8 years, now, Curly, I’m 27 and I try my best to be the best man I can be. And to me, that means learning about others and not judging anymore, not after that experience. And now, the therapist that Zach and I see, her name is Alison, and she’s amazing and kind and she has never, ever put a judgment my way, and I doubt she has to Zach, either.” 

Justin turned his head tiredly to look at Zack, wary. “I really, really hate therapy, Zack. You know that, right? If I do this, I don’t want to be hurt again.”

He felt Zack’s hand reach out and pet his hair back. “I know, Justin, I know… And if, after an appointment or two, you hate her… We’ll try to find something else that will work for you. But… I want you to try this. And you can ask Zach what his experience has been like with her, too, and he can tell you if he wants to.”

Justin sighed and looked at Zach, who was still curled against him. “Well, Shorty?”

“I think… I think Zack is right. Alison has really helped me… I used to deal with panic attacks a l-lot more often and a lot h-harder, believe me.”

Justin sighed tiredly, hesitating. “…Okay, I’ll do it. But… We have to have a huge jam session after I go.”

“Deal.” Zach and Zack said at the same time, both filled with enthusiasm. 

“Now… I think that maybe we should go sort out a few things, like what we want to do for dinner, and I can give her a call to set up an appointment for you, if you’re too anxious, Justin,” Zack said softly.

“I… I’d like that. I need to call my boss anyway, ask him when to pick up my last check… Even if he doesn’t fire me… I don’t think I can work there anymore, not with the coworkers that I have right now. They’re assholes, just as bad as Kaitlyn.”

“Understood,” Zack said softly, nodding. “You go call your boss, I’ll go call the clinic, and Shorty can go and clean up the kitchen from breakfast.” 

“Hey!” Zach cried out. “It’s your mess!”

Zack smirked. “If you don’t remember, I fed you and then we watched your favorite movie. So you can clean the kitchen while Curly and I take care of the business that we need to.”

Zach huffed dramatically, like a teenage girl whose parents had just told her no cell phone for a week. “Ugh, fine,” he grumbled, getting out of bed to make his way to the kitchen, and Zack smiled softly at Justin once Zach left the room.

“We can make the calls in here, I just figured that it would be a little easier with Zach focused on something else, so that he wouldn’t distract us.”

Justin nodded and moved to stand. “Let me go grab my phone from my room… I left it plugged in all day.” He watched Zack nod in return, and headed to the guest room to grab his now fully charged phone.

He unlocked it and read the angry texts from Kaitlyn, huffing before he texted back. “We’re done. I never want to see u again. If u bother me, I’ll call the cops. Blocking ur number.” He sent the text, then moved to block her number just as he said he would, finally returning to Zack’s room, silent, his irritation written on his face.

“You okay, Curly?” Zack asked, seeming to have noticed his expression.

“Just… Kaitlyn being angry… Told her I’m done and I’ll call the cops if she bothers me… I have the two of you to back me now. Blocked her number. We’ll see.” He sighed as he scrolled through his contacts, pulling up his boss’s number. “Let’s do this.”

He watched Zack nod before he sat beside Zack once more, who moved to grasp his hand gently. After a deep breath, Justin hit call, listening as the phone rang before his boss, Craig, picked up.

“J.R., where the fuck have you been?” Craig’s voice was angry and short and Justin winced, putting the call on speaker so that Zack could hear.

“Hospital… I get it if you want to fire me, but… After what happened the other day, I really don’t think I can come back. So… Either way, I wanted to know when to pick up my last check.”

“You were a no call, no show for 4 days, J.R., you can’t just have that happen with no consequences! How on earth could I keep you on?!”

“I’m sorry, Craig, but when you’re arrested and thrown into a psychiatric hospital, they don’t let you have your phone and I didn’t have your number memorized. I’ve been through hell this week, and Todd and Jack are assholes and I don’t know why you kept sticking me with them, but I can’t work there anymore. I love the Guitar Center, I really do, and I loved working there, but since you hired them, and since you expect so much of me that I can’t give, as a schizophrenic, disabled man, I don’t know what else to tell you. I was beaten by Kaitlyn, she called the cops because she was angry, and I was hallucinating as, you know, us schizos do, and so I was stuck in the hospital for three days. I got out, and I ran from her, and she’ll show up there, and honestly, I can’t handle her, Todd, and Jack at the same time, especially not when Todd and Jack are going to pull shit like they did the other day.”

There was a silence before Craig answered. “Tell you what… I’ll keep you on this time, full pay plus your commission still, and permission to notify the police if Kaitlyn shows up to the store… And I’ll deal with Todd and Jack and let them know if they treat you badly again, they’re fired… If you promise to notify me next time this happens. Memorize my number, have someone else do it, I don’t care.”

Justin hesitated. “I need off early once a week to go to my therapy appointments.” He looked at Zack, whose eyes lit up and he nodded.

“Deal. You’re a good man, J.R., and a good employee, a good salesman, and I want to keep you on.”

“Thanks, Craig… And… I need a new nametag, that says Justin, and I don’t want to be called J.R. anymore.”

“Deal. See you at work tomorrow, 7 AM?”

“Deal.” And with that, there was a click on the other end of the line and Justin collapsed against Zack, emotionally exhausted.

“I’m proud of you, Curly,” he murmured softly with a smile, hugging Justin close. “Now, let me call the clinic. You want me to put it on speaker?”

Justin nodded softly, and so he watched Zack dial before the speaker was activated and he curled close as he heard Zack set up an appointment for Tuesdays at noon. He sighed tiredly as that call, too, was ended, and he crawled into Zack’s lap, where the thin man’s arms wrapped tightly around him once more.

“You got this, Curly,” Zack murmured, and Justin found himself nuzzling into Zack’s neck, just needing to be held close and tight for as long as he could. “Now… What do you want for dinner?”

“Thanks, Beanpole…” Justin murmured softly, cuddling close. “I say… We order a pizza and make it easier so that Shorty doesn’t have to clean the kitchen again tonight?” 

He heard Zack chuckle softly, feeling the thin man nod. “Sounds good to me. How aout we head downstairs?” 

Justin sighed before nodding, pulling himself out of Zack’s lap and standing. As Zack stood, he pulled Zack close into a hug once more, holding it for a good minute and a half before he pulled away and moved to leave the room, Zack following after him.

They made their way downstairs, hearing as Zack just got finished cleaning up the kitchen. Justin smiled as Zach darted over to them.

“Hey, Shorty,” Justin said, opening his arms for a hug, which Zach immediately launched himself into. “How does ordering a pizza for dinner sound?”

“Oh my god YES!” Zach shouted in excitement, hugging Justin tighter, and Justin couldn’t help but grin. 

“Alright, let’s figure out what we want,” he said softly, moving to step towards the couch and sit down with Zach as Zack followed. And finally, for a moment, Justin’s head stopped spinning, and the world was clear as he knew that he was okay to settle in for a while, that things would get clearer.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, Justin awoke in the same bed as Zack and Zach once again. It was 5:30 AM, and his alarm went off to get ready for work. He reached for it, lying nearest to the bedside table, shutting it off with a quiet groan. He didn’t want to wake Zach or Zack if he could help it.

He took a deep breath and crawled out of the bed, padding down the hall to the bathroom to relieve himself and wake himself up. He ran his hands over his face, sighing softly. His beard was getting scruffier than he would prefer; he would have to go buy a new razor. He wondered if Zack and Zach would hold the same restrictions on him that Kaitlyn did and only let him have an electric razor that he couldn’t potentially take apart and harm himself with. It was sort of understandable, he supposed, but also a bit patronizing, and that frustrated Justin quite a bit.

He sighed and splashed some water on his face, then moved to take his pills. It was kind of early for them, and his stomach was empty, but he didn’t want to take any food from Zack or Zach. He let himself groan, getting it out of his system, before heading outside as quietly as he could to grab his work clothes from his truck.

He made his way back in just as quietly to change, only seeing Zack sitting on the couch when he came back in.

“Sorry, Zack,” Justin said instantly. “I didn’t mean to wake you-“

“Shh… It’s okay, Justin. I just wanted to wish you good luck back at work and make sure you had something to eat. Would you like me to make you something?”

“I- I didn’t want to eat all your food without bein’ able to contribute,” Justin said quietly.

“I know, and you’ll be helping out soon enough. But I know how bad psych meds can be on an empty stomach, and I wanted you to have a good first day back at work.”

“I just… Zack, I’m not sure how well this is going to go… Todd and Jack are assholes, and I’m not sure how they’re going to react to not seeing me for three days, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle what they do say-“

“Shhh…” Justin was pulled into Zack’s arms as the younger man spoke. “It’s okay… You know, you can text me or call me any time and I’ll be there to help you, and if I’m not I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

“You… You promise?”

“Of course, Curly.” Justin watched Zack’s face smile gently. “Now, how about some food really quick before you head out the door? I can make you some eggs, or a bagel, and we have some fruit too.”

“Oh… Okay… I’d love some eggs and an apple, if you have one.” Justin let himself smile back.

“Sure thing, Curly. Go get dressed.” Justin watched Zach head to the kitchen, nodding before moving to the bathroom to go pull his clothes on so that he wouldn’t wake Zach.

His bruises were starting to fade; the physical reminders would always vanish, and sometimes, Justin hated it. He hated the fact that any physical evidence of what he had faced would vanish but that all the emotional baggage would always remain. No one ever believed him except for Zach and Zack. No one ever believed that the girl would abuse the guy, or, if she did, that it would be physical and sexual abuse like what he had gone through.

Justin shuddered, trying not to let it get to him, to let the trauma affect him. But it did, every day. Before he knew it, he was crying, actually quite loudly, and Zack was coming in after him to check on him only to see the sight of a shirtless Justin staring into the mirror at bruises and scars.

Zack’s response was different than anything Justin could have ever expected, however.

“Curly? Justin? Can I hug you?”

Justin froze, swallowing hard. He had never been asked permission for that before. It wasn’t anything he shouldn’t have expected, knowing Zack cared for him, but the concern and asking for consent was new to him. After a moment, he nodded, and Zack’s arms were wrapping around him gently and protectively. 

“I’m not going to say that it’s going to be okay again because it’s pretty clear that you aren’t okay, but I AM going to tell you that I care about you and that I want to be here for you when you need me.” Zack’s words were quiet and gentle, protective even.

Justin moved to rest his head on Zack’s shoulder, taking in a shaky breath. “No one will ever believe me… They… They think that…G-girls c-can’t…”

“Shh… I know, Justin, I know… And Zach and I believe you… I promise you we do… Shh…” Zack’s hand gently moved up and down Justin’s back and Justin felt more tears begin to fall.

“I just-“ Justin pulled away from Zack, sucking in a breath. He fought to stop his tears from falling, but he couldn’t, just couldn’t, as he pressed his lips to Zack’s own.

Zack didn’t fight him, but rather melted into the kiss for a moment before both men broke away to breathe. “Justin, Justin… Are you sure? I like you, and I’m okay with this, but I don’t want anything to move too fast for you-“

“Just shut up and kiss me,” Justin growled before pressing his lips against Zack’s once more. Zack didn’t hesitate to kiss back, taking that as Justin’s consent.

After a moment, the two men broke for air once more, and Zack moved to set his hands on Justin’s chest. “Justin, hold on a second,” he said softly. Justin couldn’t help but to whimper, and Zack shushed him again.

“Justin… We need to get you ready for work. You need to go and take the day there and get back to normal… I promise, me and Zach will be here when you get home.”

“But Zack…”

“No buts. Now, let me go finish your breakfast. You get dressed.” With that, Zack kissed Justin’s cheek and turned away to walk out the door. Justin swallowed and glanced in the mirror once more with a shaky breath before pulling on the shirt and then moving to change the rest of his clothes. 

Once Justin finished changing, he made his way downstairs where Zack was just finishing getting food ready for him. He walked over to Zack in the kitchen and swallowed.

"Thank you," he murmured softly. 

"Anytime," Zack said softly. "Now, you need to eat and then get off to work. When's your lunch break?"

"At noon," Justin murmured softly. "Gonna come visit me?"

"Maybe," Zack said with a mischievous smile. "I do have a short thing that will want to see you since I know he's not going to get up before you leave."

Justin couldn't help but smile back. "Sounds good to me... But, um... Maybe we won't... disclose our status while I'm at work? I don't need Todd and Jack to give me even more shit."

"Of course not... Besides, we need to have that discussion with Zach, first."

"Agreed."

"Good. Now, eat," Zack said, plating the eggs and handing them and an apple to Justin with a smile before turning to make himself something to eat, too.

Justin glanced at the time on his phone - six forty-five- and began to scarf down the eggs, grabbing the apple and standing. "Shit, I have to go... I'll see you later."

"Bye, Curly," Zack said with a gentle smile as Justin rushed out the door, sitting down to enjoy his own eggs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's a lil short. Just got back into this for more for NaNo. Will try to work up to lengthier chapters again!


	8. Chapter 8

As Justin pulled in at work, he took a deep breath. He knew Todd and Jack would be arriving a few minutes after he did today, and knew that they were likely to be their typical asshole selves. Still, Justin needed to get through the day and get his work done. 7:30 to 3:30 was not a bad shift at all, because it left the rest of the afternoon for him to do what he wanted and needed to do.

He finished the apple that he had left the house with, grateful that Zack had had one on hand. And now, he had his shift, and he had to try not to think about the implications of kissing Zack, and about what it would mean for the newly formed trio he was a part of. He also had to try not to think about how they were going to tell Zach, and what his reaction would be. He hoped that Zach would be happy, but willing to take it easy; however, he just couldn't know.

As he turned off the ignition and hopped out of the truck, Justin threw the apple core away in a nearby trash can. He took his keys and made his way to the door of the store, unlocking it and stepping in. It was 7:15 and he had made sure to get here early so that he could have a few minutes to re-acclimate and get ready for the day before Todd and Jack arrived.

He glanced around, the smell of the new instruments around him something he had missed in the 5 days he had been gone. He was ready to be back at work, hoping to set up new customers with guitars they would love so that they too could discover their love of making music. He sighed as he thought of little Tim and the fact that his mother had been so cruel to the kid all in the name of being right.

He moved behind the counter to power up the register and get himself together just as Todd entered the store, head low and quiet. Justin watched curiously as Todd moved toward the counter. It seemed like Todd was avoiding his gaze, instead of his usually upbeat (albeit jerkish) self. 

"Hey, Todd," Justin said softly, because, though he was wary of mistreatment, he didn't want to have bad blood with his coworkers. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," Todd mumbled. "Just... Ready to get to work." Finally, Todd's eyes met Justin's own. "I'm sorry about the other day, J.R. That was a dick move of me and Jack."

Justin looked at Todd with a soft smile. "It's okay. I've learned to deal with it. But... I appreciate your apology. And, um, it's just Justin now. I know it might take you a while to get used to that instead of J.R., but I want to be called Justin."

"Okay, J.- I mean, Justin. I think I can remember to do that. And, um, thanks. I guess sometimes, Jack is my only friend and so I just act like him because otherwise, he gets upset with me. It’s kind of hard, being only 20, and Jack is nice to me."

"I get it. You're okay. But... You're your own person, too, Todd. Just remember that." J.R. smiled softly in the quiet that was suddenly broken as Jack walked in. 

"Well, well, well, it seems like Mr. 'I can't even take on a girl' J.R. is back. What a surprise! I thought that you would be fired for skipping work for 4 days in a row. What did you do, blow Craig?" Jack sneered as he spoke and Justin's fists curled, but he calmed himself enough not to do anything.

"Pretty ironic coming from you, Jack, since I distinctly remember you crying when your mom called and said that she couldn't spot you gas money anymore. Oh, and that time your girlfriend dumped you and said you were just an asshole? I think I remember you crying to all of us then, too." Justin's words were biting, not much like him at all.

"Well, at least I'm not a freak who beats on my girlfriend when he hears voices so that she has to call the cops on me and then breaks up with me through a text after leaving in the night. Thanks, though, J.R. You left me a really sexy girl to work with and she says I'm way better in bed than you ever were. But then again, maybe that's because I'm not gay like you."

Justin saw red at Jack's words and he swallowed. "Sounds like the two of you are perfect for each other, then. Abusive, lying assholes who only want to fuck. Oh, and I never touched her. I don't care if it makes me weak that I was beaten by a girl, but I never fucking touched her."

"Listen, J.R., the only reason Todd isn't saying anything is because he doesn't want to get fired. Right, Todd?” Jack’s sneer made his words sound particularly awful and Justin moved to look at Todd, wondering if the younger man would remember his words from earlier.

Todd looked back and forth from Justin to Jack and Justin could see the hesitation before the young man began to speak. 

“You know what, Jack? You’re wrong. I’m not going to get anywhere in life if I keep acting like you. You’re thirty three and still working here and you don’t make anywhere near as many sales as J.R., I mean, Justin does, and it’s because everyone hates you. And you really had to bring his ex into it? You’re a dick, Jack, and I can find better friends than you. Go get yourself off on hurting other people, fine, but… Don’t expect me to join you ever again.”

Justin heard the twenty year old’s voice crack and waver and he almost wanted to applaud the young man. He turned to look at Jack, who sputtered.

“Yeah, well… Whatever, I have better friends and a sexy girlfriend anyway, Todd. What, are you turning gay too? Did J.R. turn you gay too?”

“You know what Jack? Just shut the fuck up and go clean something before I call Craig and have him remove you. He’s done with your shit, too, and if you’re going to be a douche, do it when we aren’t open for customers to come in.” Justin very rarely raised his voice, but when he did, things got serious. Jack looked at Justin as though sizing him up before seeming to think better of it and walking away to go clean up in one of the back rooms.

Once Jack was out of earshot, Justin turned to Todd. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “Are you okay?”

Todd was silent a moment, and Justin wondered if he was angry. But soon, Todd spoke. “Yeah, I’ll be fine… You’re right. I don’t need Jack. And, um… Thanks. For getting him to leave me alone.”

“Of course,” Justin said softly. “You don’t deserve him being a dick to you. Besides… You’re better than he is. You’re a good person, Todd, and I can see that and I just want you to know that you’re worth more than a friend that treats you badly.” Justin smiled at Todd before seeing the younger man give a weak smile of his own.

“Thanks, Justin. Um… We should get to work. I’ll go check some inventory.” With that, Todd walked away, and Justin sighed softly. He pulled up the stool behind the counter, sitting with a quiet groan at the soreness still in his body from being beaten. He pulled out his phone for a moment to shoot a text to Zack.

“Hey. So my coworker jumped straight into dating Kaitlyn and he’s been a dick already. Don’t kno what 2 do. Miss u and Shorty.”

As he sent the text, Justin sighed and put his phone back into his pocket just as a customer walked in. 

It was a man who looked like he was in his mid-twenties, maybe twenty-five at most. His eyes were blank in expression, but were bloodshot and red around the rims. Justin could smell the marijuana on his person and his friendly smile turned to that of a sardonic half smile. He tried to return to his friendliness before approaching the guy.

“Hi there, my name is Justin. Welcome to the Guitar Center. How can I help you today?” His words were upbeat and kind, not betraying how he felt inside.

“Uh, hi… I’m Joey.” Joey’s voice was absent, calm as he paused. “I just wanted to see if I could look for a ukulele today.”

Justin smiled at Joey. “Sure thing. What’s your price range?”

“I’ve got about fifty bucks. I’m not lookin’ for the best, just something to play with.”

“Well, Joey, come with me, I think I have a good option for you.” Justin stepped out from behind the counter, nodding for Joey to follow him to where they kept the ukuleles.

Once they got to the ukuleles, Justin picked one up and passed it over to Joey. “This one goes for twenty nine ninety nine. With tax, if you don’t buy anything else, you’re out the door for about thirty three bucks. It’s got a good sound, and is a great deal for the price.”

Joey’s face turned to a smile as he took the ukulele and plucked a few of the strings. “I like it.” 

Justin smiled softly. He had to fight the disdain for the smell of marijuana, as the one time he had gotten high his hallucinations had gotten worse (and included a flying turtle that he had never seen before and would never care to again), and the smell often triggered him into remembering that experience, which he absolutely hated. Still, he was happy to hook someone up with music, as music absolutely made the world go round. Music brought people together, gave them hope, gave them life. 

“Alright then, Joey, come on back to the counter for me and we’ll get you all set up.

Justin led Joey back to the counter, where he rang the man up on the register. “Thirty two seventy six,” he said softly. Joey nodded and handed him a fifty. Justin took the bill and got Joey his change. “Here you go.”

Joey smiled back absently at Justin. “Thank you, man… Also… You should take a load off. You’re way too anxious. I got some more Mary Jane if you want some-“

“No, no, that’s okay, um, I don’t smoke. I can’t. But, um, thank you, Joey. I hope you enjoy the ukulele.”

“Okay man, well, have a chill day.”

“You too,” Justin said softly. As Joey walked out the door with his uke and his change, Justin couldn’t help but to collapse against the counter.

Was Joey right? Was he too tense? Was his anxiety so bad that it was that noticeable even to someone who was high?

He paused a moment to catch his breath mentally. Of COURSE someone who was high would notice because they were the complete opposite of anxious. His anxiety was warranted, for starts, and he wondered if it would even be noticeable to someone who WASN’T high.

He took a moment to pull his phone out and check his messages, seeing a text from Zack. 

“Hey Curly. Shorty and I will bring u lunch. Anything you want?”

Justin smiled softly, feeling butterflies in his stomach. “A burger sounds nice. I can pay u back.”

He shot off the new text and waited as Jack came out of the back room. He could hear Jack on his cell phone now. 

“Oh, yeah, baby, I would love to see you for lunch. Oh, yeah, J.R. is here. Yeah, he would love to see you. Oh, yeah. Okay, babe. See you at lunch.”

Justin’s fists curled as Jack got off the phone. His own face was angry compared to Jack’s evil smirk, and Justin growled. “You fucking prick…”

“Be careful, J.R., I can report you to Craig for inappropriate language.”

Justin growled. “And Craig gave me permission to call the police if Kaitlyn shows up here, as I fully intend to get a restraining order. I think you’ve forgotten, Jack, that I am the superior here. I hold rank over you, and I’m not going to stand to be harassed by you or Kaitlyn. You might want to call off your lunch date.”

“Bull shit,” Jack said. “You can’t call the cops at all. One, you’re too weak to do it, and two, she didn’t do anything.”

“Oh, yeah. Calling and giving a false police report is actually grounds for arrest, Jack, which, you know, she did. And I can explain that to the cops. I have bruises to prove it when she doesn’t. I never touched her, and now that I’ve recovered some, I CAN give a coherent story. So I would think twice before trying to harass me.”

“Whatever,” Jack said, his voice clearly showing that he didn’t believe Justin. “You can’t do shit.”

“Watch me.” Justin moved over to the store phone, having now memorized Craig’s number. He moved to dial it. He waited as it rang, and Craig picked up on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Craig, it’s Justin. I have Jack here, and he’s been an ass to me and Todd today. He’s also planning on bringing Kaitlyn by for lunch.”

“Really? Put me on speaker.” Justin did so. “Jack Robertson, you’re on thin ice. If I get word of you harassing your coworkers again, you’ll be fired. And Justin has my permission to call the police if Kaitlyn does come. Do you understand?”

“But… But… J.R. can’t do that! Just because they broke up she can’t come?”

“His name is Justin, so refer to him properly. And no, he and I have had an extensive conversation about the consequences of her on his mental health and well being, and if you want to violate that, you will be fired and banned from the store, too.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? What, did he suck your dick for you to agree to this? He’s a fucking schizo, you know!”

“That is ENOUGH, Jack! Get out. You’re fired.” Craig’s voice was resolute.

“Fine. I see how it is. He’s your schizo bitch and you want to fuck him for the rest of your life. That’s fine with me.”

“Grab your things and go. We’ll sign your severance papers tomorrow. You won’t be paid for the rest of this shift due to harassing my other employees, and if I hear you’re in the store any time other than when I have you in to sign the severance papers, I will have you arrested.”

“Fine. I’m better than you gay bitches anyway. Fuck you all.” With that, Jack came behind the counter to grab his things and then moved to head out the door.

Once Jack left, Justin spoke. “Thank you, Craig. He was harassing Todd, earlier, too.”

“Of course, Justin. I’ll be in in an hour and a half to check on things.”

“Thanks, Craig.” Justin hung up the phone and sighed. “Todd?”

The young man walked around the corner. “Yeah, J.-I mean, Justin?”

“Did you hear all that?” The young man nodded. “Good,” Justin continued. “If Jack tries to harass you, let me or Craig know. I’m sorry that you had to lose your friend today and that he was such an ass.”

Todd swallowed. “It’s okay. I just…. Thanks, for standing up for me. And, um… You know I’m not gay, right?”

Justin smiled gently. “Naw, I know. Jack is insecure about his status as a man, so he’s lashing out. I mean… I’m bisexual, but also, it means nothing bad. And Craig has a beautiful wife. I would never take anything Jack says at face value.”

Todd hesitated before nodding. “Thanks, Justin.”

“Anytime, Todd. I’m going to step out for a second and make a phone call. Can you handle it back here alone for a few? You can come get me anytime if you need help.” As the young man nodded, Justin stepped out for a breath of fresh air and pulled his phone out of his pocket, pulling up Zack’s contact info.

“Justin?”

“Hey, Beanpole… I just… Needed to hear a safe voice.”

“Curly? You okay?” Zack’s voice was concerned.

“Well, I just got Jack fired… He was going to bring Kaitlyn in, and so I called Craig, and Jack was harassing me even while speaking to him, so he got fired. I was wondering if… If maybe you would be willing to come back with Shorty when I get off tonight so that one of you could ride with me so that I’m not alone.”

“Oh, Curly… Of course. Not a single problem with that at all. Are you okay right now?”

Justin swallowed. “I’m really anxious… He said some really nasty things that he could only have known from Kaitlyn telling him, and Jack seems like the kind to get violent when he’s angry. And the anxiety is killing me, and I don’t know how I’m going to even make it to lunch without flipping out, and-“

“Okay, Justin, take a deep breath. You’ll be okay. I promise. Do you want me to bring you some calming tea with lunch? I can stop and get some.”

“I… I don’t know, Zack, I don’t know… I just…”

“Shh… I can bring some. If it turns out you don’t want it or don’t like it, that’s okay. I promise.”

“O-okay… Thanks, Zack. I’ll see you in a couple hours?”

“Of course.”

“Okay… I need to go back and help Todd. Thanks. Bye, Beanpole.”

“Bye, Curly.”

With that, Justin hung up the phone and took one more deep breath before walking back inside to get a bottle of water from the employee stash that they would sometimes use to calm upset customers. Todd looked at him from behind the counter, and Justin smiled and grabbed one more before moving behind the counter too. “We can take it easy… It’s a Monday morning, it’ll be pretty slow. If anyone comes in, we can help them.” He held out the second bottle for Todd, who took it with a grateful smile, before opening his own.

“Sounds good to me.” The two men pulled up the stools behind the counter and sat. It was going to be a long two hours for Justin before Zack and Zach were to get there. And somehow, Justin could deal with that.


	9. Chapter 9

When Craig had come by, it had only lasted fifteen minutes or so. The store had been dead. No one new had come in, no activity. Todd and Justin had busied themselves by cleaning things up and tuning up some of the guitars. Craig had looked around the place and, considering how the day had gone, told Justin to close up at 1:30, an hour after his lunch, assuring Justin and Todd they would be paid for a full shift.

Justin had nodded and continued to clean to make sure they were ready for the next day. He had checked up on Todd, and told the kid to just chill; from today alone, Justin could tell he was honestly just a good person who had fallen in with the wrong crowd.

After another 15 minutes, Zack and Zach had come by with a burger and some hot chamomile tea for Justin and Justin introduced his new bandmates to Todd, offering him the fries they had brought along. Todd had accepted them and asked what it was like to actually be in a band; he himself had never found the right one. Zach had humored Todd and entertained himself by talking endlessly about it while Justin had eaten and let Zack hug him. 

Zack’s hugs grounded Justin, and Justin had told him that if they wanted to stick around and browse, he would be getting off early. Zack had nodded and said he and Zach would be glad to stick around. After listening to Zach and Todd talk, Zack had winked at Justin before telling Zach to ask Todd about that guitar he had wanted the last time they were here, considering Zach had been saving up. Zach and Todd’s eyes had both lit up happily as they had gone off to look at the guitar Zach had wanted.

This gave Zack and Justin a little time alone, which was spent in the quiet front of the shop with Zach and Todd’s excited voices audible but dampened by the distance. Neither of the two men really spoke; they had just held each other and waited.

Todd had ended up making the sale to Zach, who was super excited and then ended up playing for them all. Justin loved seeing the reverence on Zack’s face for Zach, wondering if Zack would look at him that way too. Plus, Zach was a really good guitarist, and the songs he played were fun.

The rest of Justin and Todd’s shifts went by quickly, and Justin told Todd he could head out a little early. He took the time to close up the shop, stepping out with his bandmates at exactly 1:30.

He had looked at Zach, who was elated. “Hey, Shorty… Wanna ride home with me? My truck has a little more room for your new guitar than your guys’ car has, and I didn’t get to talk to you this morning.”

“Sure!” Zach had said excitedly, and Justin had nodded, watching with a gentle smile as his bandmates kissed each other before Zack drove off.

This led to where he was now, in the car with Zach, who was jabbering excitedly about how nice Todd was, and why had Justin called him a jerk, and how awesome was his new guitar? Justin chuckle softly, letting the shorter man get his excitement off his chest.

“Well, Todd was in with the wrong crowd, but he’s a good kid. I like your new guitar, I’m glad you do, too. I’m glad you came to see me at work. It made a bad day a little better.”

Zach had continued to speak excitedly, and Justin let himself focus back on the road, listening to Zach’s voice absently. When Zach had been looking at the guitar with Todd, one of the few things spoken about between Zack and Justin was that they needed to talk to Zach when they got home.

Soon, Justin was pulling in to Zach and Zack’s house (it was hard to think of it as his own now, even though he had basically moved in with them). When he got there, he helped Zach get his guitar out, and they headed into the house.

“Hey, Shorty… Wanna set the guitar aside for a bit? Me and Curly need to talk to you,” Zack said gently, and Zach nodded, moving to put the guitar away before he returned to where Justin and Zack were sitting in the living room.

Justin took a deep breath as Zach sat down, swallowing. “Zach… I wanted to talk to you about… About us.”

Zach cocked his head almost curiously. “Okay?”

Justin glanced at Zack for support, who nodded as if telling Justin to continue. So, Justin took another deep breath before doing so.

“Well, Zach… I just got out of a very abusive relationship. It’s weird. She both physically and s-s-…” He had to pause, hating that he had to admit this, “sexually abused me.” His voice cracked. “Well, I wasn’t sure about jumping into something very fast, and the whole polyamory thing is new to me, too. Hell, actually getting close to guys is new to me.” Justin bit his lip; this next part would be hard.

“Well, while you were asleep, I had… A bit of a breakdown. And… I kissed Zack. And… It’s confusing to me, and I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I’m not sure if it’s too fast, and I don’t want to fuck things up with either of you, but… But… I like you both. And I’m attracted to both of you, and… I think… If you’re okay with it… I want this… I want us… To happen.” Justin bit his lip, waiting for the inevitable anger.

The response, however, was not what he expected. Zach took a moment to register the words, it seemed, but as soon as he had, he practically jumped on Justin, pressing his lips against the oldest man’s in a deep kiss.

When it broke, Justin could barely catch his breath, and he held Zach close. “I take it that this is okay with you?”

“Of course,” Zach said, kissing Justin deep once more, and Justin couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. It felt amazing, to have something that he was consenting to, but it was also terrifying, the uncertainty that it may or may not work.

When the second kiss broke, Justin looked over to Zack, who also smiled. “Welcome to the family, Justin,” Zack said softly.

“Thanks, Zack…” Justin smiled hazily. “Mind if we go up to bed and take a nap? I had a long day after dealing with Jack. I kind of… Need to be held and relax.”

“Of course, Justin,” Zack said, and Zach nodded, climbing out of Justin’s lap. The three men headed upstairs, crawling into the bed in Zack and Zach’s (no, wait, all of their) room. Zach went first, then Justin, then Zack.

Once they were laying in the bed, Zach wrapped himself around Justin, and Justin smiled, draping an arm around him. Zack cuddle up close, kissing Zach, then Justin, and Justin kissed Zach too. The three men curled close to each other until their breathing fell into the same simultaneous rhythm.

Zach was the first to drift off. Justin couldn’t help but to smile fondly as he watched the shortest man sleep so peacefully. Soon enough, though, Justin was feeling drowsy on his own, and he started to drift off too. The last thing he noticed as he drifted off was Zack’s own fond smile.

Justin’s dreams were usually very vivid, and could often be terrifying to him. Today, however, it was softer somehow. He dreamed of Zach and Zack, dreamed of kissing them and loving them and being theirs. It was comforting compared to how things had been for him recently, and was the best dream he had had in a long time. Things in the dream felt amazing, and had progressed to the point where the three men were nude and making love when Justin awoke with a gasp.

Though it felt like no time had passed, the three men had slept for nearly four hours, and now, Justin was awake and quite hard. It was embarrassing. His gasp woke Zack, who was a light sleeper, and Justin tried to hide his erection in embarrassment.

“Um, Zack, um, Beanpole, I… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, I-“

“Shh… It’s okay, Justin, it’s probably a good thing, if you hadn’t we probably wouldn’t sleep tonight. Come on, let’s wake Shorty.”

Justin swallowed. “I-“ his words were cut off as Zack pulled the covers off and leaned over him to wake Zach. Justin’s hands flitted to cover his erection, making it even more obvious.

Zach woke drowsily, groaning as Zack nudged him, and when Zack pulled back, he looked at Justin. “Oh, shit, Justin, I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable…”

“No, um, it’s my fault, I- I just…”

“Shhhh…. It’s okay, it happens. Do you need a moment?”

“No, I just didn’t want to… Make you guys uncomfortable by… By getting a boner while in bed with you.”

“Justin, Curly, baby, we aren’t uncomfortable. It happens, we get it. It happens to us too.”

“I just… It’s… This never… I never…. With Kaitlyn… But you… I… I dreamed…”

Zack paused. “You… Dreamed? About us?”

Justin nodded shamefully, upset with himself for it.

“Oh, Justin, sweetie, it’s okay… We’re not mad at you. If you’re uncomfortable we can give you some space, or you can go be alone to take care of yourself, or if you’d rather we can just wait for it to go down, or we can try to take care of it… It’s your choice.”

Justin hesitated. “I, um… I’ve never had sex with a man. But… I also… Am really, really attracted to the two of you.”

By now, Zach was more awake and listening. “Sex with guys is fun! At least, I always have fun. Zack is a good top.”

Justin blushed. “I, um…”

Zack looked at Zach scoldingly. “A little TMI, Zach. Justin may not be interested in that yet.”

Justin paused. “I um… Maybe we… Maybe we could try something? If… If you guys are okay with it?”

“Sure!” Zach exclaimed, and Zack looked at him to scold him once more.

“We can try, Justin. But you have the right to revoke your consent at any time and we can stop any time if you’re uncomfortable.”

“O-okay…. And if either of you gets uncomfortable, we can stop too.” Justin blushed.

“Okay… Well, Justin, I want to know… What are your limits, before we DO start anything?” Zack’s words were gentle and kind.

“Well, um… I really, really hate it when… When I’m expected to top. I… Kaitlyn made me do all the work, and never actually made it good for me. And, um… Dirty talk, or mean talk, is a no, and… Please no biting, scratching, hitting, or hair pulling... Or trying to control my head.”

“Okay, Justin,” Zack said softly. “I also think that maybe a safe word is in order?”

“Well, um… Actually, I never remember safe words. Can we just agree that no means no if I say it and stop means stop?”

“Of course, Justin. Do you want to top, or bottom, or do you want to avoid penetrative sex, or the like?”

“Um, well, I think… I think I would like to… To t-try bottoming.”

“Okay, Justin, we can do that. Please, PLEASE let me and Zach know if it hurts or if you’re uncomfortable.”

“Okay, Zack… Sounds good to me. And, um, for you two?”

“Well, I don’t like having my head controlled either, and I’m not a fan of bottoming,” Zack said softly.

“And I don’t like topping!” Zach joined in.

“Okay, well. I think we can work with that,” Justin said. “And, um… Not that I don’t trust the two of you, but I want to ask… Are you clean?”

Zack smiled gently and Zach smiled excitedly. “Yes, we are,” Zack answered, and Justin nodded in relief. 

“Okay… Well, Kaitlyn and I always used protection, and I was tested after the last time we did… Have sex… And I’m still clean.” He was hesitant to actually call it having sex, since he very rarely had consented.

“Okay, well… Do you want to use protection, or would you rather not?” Zack asked.

“Well, um, I would actually like not to, if you guys are… Are comfortable with that.”

Zach and Zack looked at each other before nodding. “I think we’re okay with that.”

Justin nodded back. “Well, um, okay then… I think that’s all we need to talk about, unless you have anything else…”

“Just… Are you allergic to anything in lube? It hurts a lot if you don’t use any.”

“Naw, I’m not,” Justin said with a weak smile.

“Well, okay then… Can I undress you?” Zack asked, and Justin nodded. Zack smiled and moved to gently grasp the sides of Justin’s shirt while Zach began to strip himself.

Justin allowed his shirt to be taken off before he kissed Zack deep and full, moving hesitantly to grasp Zack’s own shirt. Zack nodded, and Justin began to pull off his shirt too.

Next came their pants, leaving them in their underwear. All three men were painfully hard, and Zack looked at Justin once more. “Are you sure you want this?”

Justin nodded, kissing Zack before allowing him to pull off his underwear. Soon, all three men were nude, and Justin swallowed. Zach and Zack’s bodies were far more beautiful than he could have ever dreamed.

Neither Zack nor Zach were lacking downstairs, and Justin was mesmerized by how beautiful they were. They weren’t Hollywood perfect, by any means; Zach’s body was covered in moles and skin tags and didn’t particularly have much hair, but it was gorgeous anyway, and Zack’s body was lean and pale, but still seemed strong and steadfast.

Justin’s own body made him insecure sometimes. Fading bruises were still there; as were scars, both from self harm and abuse. He was a little pudgy in certain areas, and had body hair in places that made him feel weird.

He blushed a little a moment before Zack spoke. “You are absolutely gorgeous… Can I kiss your body?” Justin nodded, and Zack moved close, kissing all over Justin’s chest and torso and thighs. It made Justin even harder, if that was possible, and he found himself nodding at Zach, who moved closer. He moved to kiss Zach desperately, gasping quietly and whining with pleasure as Zack’s lips traversed his body.

Soon, Zack pulled away, and Justin couldn’t help but whine. “Shh… It’s okay, Justin… I just want to grab some lube so I can get you ready.”

Justin nodded, and Zach looked at him. “Can I blow you?” the shorter man asked, and Justin’s eyes went wide.

“Um, sure… I just… Want to warn you, I’ve never… Never had a blow job before.”

“Then hopefully you enjoy it,” Zach said with a mischievous grin, and Justin smiled sheepishly. “Um… Can you move toward the edge of the bed so I can kneel?”

Justin nodded and did so, and Zach knelt before him. Soon, Zach’s mouth was wrapping around his dick, and Justin cried out in surprise. Zach looked up at him and Zack asked for the shorter man if Justin was okay. “Mm-hmmm,” Justin said, and so Zach continued.

Zach seemed to be an expert at blow jobs, so it turned out. Justin barely warned him. “I, Zach, I’m close-“ and Zach pulled off him, and Justin had to catch his breath.

“I can continue, if you want, or we can move on…” Zach said softly.

“I, um… Take a while to get hard again,” Justin admitted, and Zach nodded. 

“Well… Maybe Zack should get you ready, then. I, um… Do you mind if I jerk off while I watch the two of you?”

Justin nodded and Zach stepped aside. “You can… I want you to feel good too, Zach.”

“Thank you,” Zach said softly. And soon, Zack was back. 

“Do you want to do this missionary, or with me from behind, or what?”

“I, um… I think I’d like my first time having sex with you to be missionary,” Justin said softly, and Zack nodded.

“Okay, lie down. I’m going to use some lube to get you ready with my fingers so that hopefully it doesn’t hurt you at all.”

Justin nodded and did as he was told. Zach moved to kneel on the bed before him, opening the bottle of lube before pouring a little on his fingers. “Let me know if you don’t like this, Justin.”

Justin nodded once more, and Zack began to spread the lube around his hole. Justin gasped in surprise, and Zack asked if he was okay. “I’m fine… Just wasn’t expecting that. You can keep going.”

Zack nodded and let himself rub a little around the outside before gently letting his pointer finger breach Justin’s hole. Justin gasped once again, and Zack looked to him for an update on how he felt. “Stings a little,” Justin said softly.

Zack nodded and pulled the finger out, putting a little more lube on his fingers. “I’m going to try again, okay?” Justin nodded, and Zack let his finger breach Justin’s hole again, and it didn’t sting so much this time.

Justin nodded once more, far more comfortable, and Zack worked him slowly before working up to another finger, and then a third, making sure Justin was sufficiently prepared.

“Okay, Justin… Do you think you’re ready for me to enter you now?” Justin deliberated a moment before nodding, and Zack nodded in return, taking even more lube to lube himself up before he lined himself up to enter Justin.

“Um… Can you… Can you kiss me when you enter me for the first time?” Justin asked sheepishly.

“Of course. Are you ready?” Justin nodded, and so did Zack, handing the lube off to Zach, so he could use some too.

After a second, Zack’s lips were against Justin’s own and he was pushing inside Justin, who couldn’t help the tears that fell as Zack entered him for the first time. Once Zack had bottomed out, he held himself still a second, breaking the kiss as he allowed Justin time to adjust.

"Are you okay?" He asked Justin softly, and Justin nodded. "Just need a minute... Is that okay?" 

Zack nodded. "Take all the time that you need, baby. Tell me when it's okay to move."

After a long moment, Justin nodded. "You can move, just... Slow." Zack nodded and obliged moving slowly, speeding up only when Justin nodded and told him it was okay to do so. He needed Zack, needed him so badly.

Soon, Zack hit a spot within him, and Justin cried out, it felt magical. He looked at Zack and Zach inquisitively. Zach wore a knowing smile, and Zack begain to explain. "I just hit your prostate. Did you like that?"

"Yes, please, more, Zack, more! I need you, you feel so good, so, so, so good! Please!"

Justin's ecstast continued as Zack began to move more and soon, he was close. "So close, so damn close, please!"

"Me too, Justin, me too," Zack said, and soon, the two men climaxed together. As Zack pulled out, Justin teared up even more.

"Thank you, thank you so much, I... I think I love you two," Justin said softly.

"I... I think I love you too," Zack said.

"Me, too," Zach agreed with a smile, having finished himself off while watching the other two. He rejoined them both, and soon, Zack kissed Justin, and then Zach kissed Justin, and then Zack and Zach kissed each other. It was a beautiful moment in all of their eyes.

Soon, the three men were returning to the bed, lying close together and catching their breath. It was better than Justin could have ever imagined. He spoke after some silence. "I think... I think that we could do that more and more often. I really enjoyed that."

So did we," Zack said softly.

"I love you both," Justin said.

"Me, too," came Zach's voice.

"Me, too," Zack agreed.

The three men continued to cuddle with each other, curled close in their shared love and ecstasy as they fell asleep.


End file.
